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We make decisions every day all day. Some are instantaneous and others take a bit of time to commit to. We might require facts and figures, consult with others or have to work out the value for ourselves. Some decisions we approach with open arms and others we avoid making. Alone this point begins to indicate if this is a fear-based or growth-based decision. The signs of fear are important as we need to understand them. Fear may lead us to procrastinate on making the decision. We might wish to protect others or ourselves or we might lack the confidence, be uncertain of the outcome or not have the courage to pull it through. Not all fear-based decisions are by nature bad or negative but we are casting our focus on the final outcome and letting the process out of sight.

A growth-based decision in its own right is not necessarily energizing, easy or fun. The growth may need time, means making sacrifices and even upskilling our abilities. However, we accept and face those challenges in our stride. We regard both the process and progress as valuable transformation steps necessary to attain our end goal. We are not disillusioned that growth comes without the necessary perspiration. Nevertheless, we soldier on and we know that our growth decision has no regrets. Fear decisions are frequently accompanied with regret, blame and hindsight thinking. They keep us dancing between the past and present moment. Whereas growth decisions allow us to focus on the now and the future. As you reflect over your adulthood your growth decisions are stories you like to share with others as they are positive, uplifting and most likely become trademark of your authenticity and character. We don’t like sharing fear-based decisions as we know we should have, could have, ought to have but didn’t! They are more likely decisions we are ashamed about or even feel guilty. We dislike discussing them as they keep on ripping over the soar wound. But should that be like that? Personally I believe that fear-based decisions which could have been seen as failures or wrong turns can transform to growth decisions. We can learn and heal from decisions by being accepting and kind to ourselves. We made a weak decision but we don’t have to hold ourselves hostage to it every day for the remainder of our life.

Perhaps we can change the outcome or consequences. It is never too late for that. Nevertheless, self-forgiveness is important and contemplating what the situation has taught us about ourselves. It may take time, courage and self-love but in the end you will become the phoenix rising from the ashes. Free from the past shackles of regret, shame and guilt. Free to grow and develop your authentic being further.