Focus On The Good, Not The Bad

Attitude is everything 

An attitude can be defined as an inward feeling expressed by outward behaviour. This is why a person’s attitude can often be seen without them saying a single word. Our attitudes are formed through our life experiences, upbringing, education, and social influences. Attitude can also be described as the way we evaluate something or someone. For example, when you are at work and a teammate insists on citing all the problems rather than finding solutions, or only expresses the reasons an idea will not work, what would your evaluation of their attitude be?  

 

The components of attitude 

Attitudes are a choice that can be influenced by both internal and external factors. Internal factors include your emotions and how you feel about yourself. External factors include your family dynamics or workplace environment. There are 3 components to attitude: 

• Affective: This is an emotional component – how a person, issue, or event makes you feel.  

• Behavioral: This is an actions component – how you respond to someone or something that provokes your feelings and beliefs. 

• Cognitive: This is a thinking/belief component – how your perception and beliefs about a subject count toward your attitude.  

 

A good attitude versus a bad attitude 

Here are some of the common hallmarks of a positive and a bad attitude:  

• A good attitude is characterised by optimism – including seeing opportunities in difficulties, resilience, and a growth mindset.  

• A bad attitude is characterised by pessimism, negativity, and a fixed mindset. It is not constructive, cooperative, or optimistic. 

 

Luckily, we can change our attitude 

Is your glass half empty or half full? Have you caught yourself being negative – or slipping into perpetually negative thinking? Our attitudes are not cast in stone and can change. This could be due to receiving new information, or when what we believe is persuaded differently by an influential person. Or it could be because you consciously train your thinking in a positive direction. 

 

How do you learn to focus on the positive and not the negative?  

Positive thinking does not mean that you ignore less pleasant situations or ignore being poorly treated. It means that you approach problems or unpleasantness in a more positive and productive way. You can learn to turn negative thinking into positive thinking. The process is simple, but it does take time and practice — after all you are creating a new habit. Here are three tips to train yourself to think positively. 

1. Be conscious of your negative thoughts and reframe them.  

Before now, you may not even have been aware of your negative thoughts. Spend a day or two paying attention to your thoughts or self-talk. You may be surprised by how many of your thoughts are negative. 

• If you want to engage in more positive thinking, first identify areas of your life that you usually think negatively about. It could be about work, life changes or a relationship. Start your training by noticing your next negative thought and saying to yourself, “Stop that! 

• Next, reframe the negative thought by turning it on its head and finding something positive about the situation. For instance, instead of being irritated by being caught in commuter traffic, spend a moment being grateful that you have a car, or spend the time listening to music or a podcast.  

• Every word we speak or think about ourselves can have a significant impact on our confidence and self-esteem. When it comes to changing negative self-talk, start by following one simple rule: Do not say anything to yourself that you would not say to anyone else. Be kind and encouraging with yourself, the same as you would be with another person.  

2. Practice gratitude.  

Practicing being grateful helps to shift our perceptions. It involves focusing on the positive aspects of life, rather than negative emotions.  

• Take the time to acknowledge the good things in your life. Doing so will put you in a more positive frame of mind.  

• Practicing gratitude can involve looking back on positive memories, being thankful for the present, and maintaining an optimistic attitude for the future. 

• Regularly practice saying or writing down three specific things you are grateful for each day. This will help to train you to look for things that make you happy.  

You can model gratitude and positivity by expressing appreciation for the little things, showing kindness to others, and maintaining an optimistic attitude. 

3. Surround yourself with positive people. 

Surrounding yourself with positive people can help you develop a positive attitude because positivity is contagious.  

• Cultivate positive relationships: Invest time and effort into nurturing relationships with people who inspire and uplift you. You can do this by attending networking events, joining professional groups, or seeking mentorship opportunities. What are the benefits of surrounding yourself with positive people? 

• • Positive people care about your success and well-being. 

• • Positive people can help you believe in yourself.  

• • Positive people can help you make beneficial and positive decisions.  

• • Positive people are motivating – they inspire you to keep improving and giving your best.  

• Set boundaries with negative people: Do not be afraid to set clear boundaries with negative people – or put paid to toxic relationships. Consider reducing the time you spend with them or avoiding topics that trigger negativity 

A sense of humour is linked to a positive attitude 

A good sense of humour not only helps to lighten the mood in a tense or difficult situation; it also helps in building connections with others and navigating through life’s challenges with a positive outlook. People who are skilled in using humour tend to have better social relationships. A sense of humour is linked to positive psychological outcomes, such as increased resilience, positive social interactions, and better mental health. Seeing the funny side in both good and bad situations helps to lighten your burdens. It inspires hope and connects you to others in a positive way.  

Over to you for sharing your comments and experiences.