Love Your Job But Loathe Your Boss?

How would you rate your relationship with your boss? You may be in the fortunate position of having a great boss who is an excellent leader and who has helped you develop in your job and career. In this case, the best way you can be of support is by being the best follower you can be. Or you may have a difficult, overdemanding or downright abusive boss who makes your life at work miserable. One way of dealing with a toxic boss is to hand in your resignation and move on. But resigning and moving on may not be feasible for you. Or you could resign only to find yourself working for an even more problematic boss in your next position. And why should you leave your job if you work within a talented team and enjoy what you do?  

If you feel stuck, with feelings of resentment rising in you, take heart! Here are three things you can do to make your unhappy work life far more bearable.  

1. First reflect 

It is important to first look within. Are you sure it is your boss who is the problem? Here is a description of 3 basic types of difficult employees. Do you see yourself in any of them? 

• Those who are poor performers. Do you consistently turn in excellent quality work on time? It could be that your boss micromanages your work and deadlines because you make mistakes or waste time on personal calls or surfing the Internet.  

• Those who have a bad attitude. Are you cranky or unhelpful at work – or critical of your colleagues? A negative attitude, whether it is passive or confrontational, can quickly create a toxic environment that impacts everyone in your team.  

• Those who undermine their leader’s authority. Undermining your boss means behaving in a way that intentionally challenges their ability and authority. For example, spreading gossip about your team leader’s personal life or professional competence, or by openly questioning their actions in a way that shows your dissatisfaction.  

If you come to the uncomfortable realisation that you are part of the problem, seek help to turn your negative attitude into a positive one and sign up for training that will develop your hard and soft skills. Practicing positivity will have extraordinary knock-on effects. It can help you gain the trust of your boss and colleagues and lead you to improving your performance and growing your abilities.   

2. Take control 

Making a choice is one of the most powerful things you can do for yourself – it puts you in control. This having been said, surviving your decision to continue working for a rude or demanding boss will take exercising your emotional intelligence in the following ways:  

• Maintaining professionalism: You cannot always control the situation, but you can control how you respond to it. Responding with anger or frustration can escalate a tricky situation and make a problem or misunderstanding harder to resolve. Learn how to understand and keep your own emotions in check so you can remain calm and collected, no matter how your boss behaves.  

• Focusing on what you can control: Setting and enforcing boundaries to curb an overdemanding boss need not be about drawing a line in the sand. An overbearing boss may see this as insubordination or a challenge. Nonverbal cues can be extremely useful when setting and maintaining boundaries. For example, when you stick to the practice of responding to e-mails at a particular time of the day, you are tacitly setting a boundary. By leaving after-hours WhatsApp messages unread until the next morning, you are setting a boundary.  

• Seeking support: It is vital to have people to turn to, to avoid your challenging work situation taking a serious toll on your mental health. Seek support and honest feedback from trusted colleagues. A coach or mentor can be of great support – an outside perspective can bring valuable insights into how you can improve the situation. 

• Developing coping strategies: One coping strategy is maintaining your sense of humour. While it is important to take your substandard situation seriously, being able to laugh with and enjoy working with your colleagues can reduce stress and make your working day more fulfilling. It is also important to continue to engage in activities outside of work that bring you happiness and relaxation. Rather than retreating into solitude, spend time with friends and family – and pursue your hobbies.  

• Tracking your accomplishments: Keep a record of your work achievements. Tracking your achievements is a powerful way to maintain confidence in your professional journey. It reinforces your sense of self-worth. Plus, it is helpful in preparing for performance reviews and can be useful if you need to defend your performance.  

3. Arise above your boss’s shortcomings 

To continue turning in work of a high standard and developing your own role within a company, despite your lack of confidence in your boss, takes a committed effort. But if you are going to stay: 

• Remain on the right side of your boss. It is also important to maintain a good relationship with other leaders in the company. Avoid concentrating on your boss’s weaknesses or taking any unfair behaviour towards you on board. Focus on why you are there and see if you can find your boss’s strengths. Then you will more easily endure working under their leadership. 

• Do not allow your morale to sink. Keep on giving your best. Remain engaged and upbeat at work – and resist the temptation to share your negative views with other team members. You may think that your efforts go unnoticed as you take the high ground, but you would be surprised how your professionalism is noticed by colleagues and superiors. 

• Look beyond. Do not let a bad boss narrow your vision. Keep your sanity by focusing on the larger picture, such as what you are learning that you can use to rise in the ranks of your current company or in your next job. It is also important to stay focused on your long-term goals and be prepared to move on if the situation becomes intolerable. 

When you have a fantastic job and a toxic boss, it can be hard to decide whether to stay or quit. There are occasions, such as experiencing sexual harassment or emotional abuse at the hands of your boss, when for the sake of your mental health or physical safety leaving is the best possible choice. However, in more run-of-the mill-instances, it is important to determine whether quitting your job without first landing another position will derail your career. Decide if it is better to hang in there while you carefully plan your exit strategy before moving on to a better position while also not closing any doors behind you.  

Over to you for sharing your comments and experiences.