You Have The Power To Create Your Own Happiness

Why are some people naturally happier than others? Behavioural scientists and psychologists have discovered that our genetic makeup may be what influences our happiness the most. They attribute about 50 percent of happiness to genetics, 10 per cent to life circumstances and 40 per cent to personal choices. This means that each of us is born with a unique happiness base line to which we return if we do not actively pursue being happy.  

Life has its ups and downs, and it is not realistic to expect to be happy all the time. However, being happy can be a conscious decision, and each of us can act to raise our happiness level. One set of actions is to pause, reflect and then choose to change the way we view a situation. Changing our perspective away from seeing things in a negative light gives us the chance to reframe a situation as being neutral or positive – even if it is uncomfortable or hard to bear. Two great outcomes of changing our perspective in this way are that we create a habit of positive thinking, plus we gain a greater sense of compassion for ourselves and others.  

Here are four other actions we can take on a day- to-day basis to actively increase our happiness: 

1. Practice enjoying small things in the present moment 

While we can anticipate future good times or look back at happy memories, happiness is experienced in the here and now. Being wracked by worry about the future or having too much focus on the past will eclipse being able to fully experience where we are now. Granted, life is not always easy, and we may want to shy away from living in the present. Here are four reasons it can be hard to feel happy here and now:  

• Our day is full of distractions. Between work and family responsibilities, many of us have too little time for ourselves. Our busy schedules do not allow for quality time when we can slow down and appreciate life.  

• We are running from ourselves. Some of us are not happy with ourselves, so our natural inclination is to distract ourselves by keeping busy. We pursue being perpetually busy, getting involved in activities to divert our attention away from having time to face what we dislike.  

• We are avoiding our problems. Many people are amidst painful situations that are hard to deal with. When times are tough, we distract ourselves because we want to avoid feeling pain and anguish – especially if we do not know how to deal with our problems.  

• Being in the present is lonely. For some people, being in their own company is lonely. As an antidote they may pursue continual noise and action, so that they are not often alone with their thoughts in a relaxed frame of mind.  

Each of the issues mentioned above has serious connotations and may require a considerable amount of personal effort to change, along with help from loved ones and sometimes from professional counsellors or therapists. That having been said, an effective way of learning to live in the present is by developing mindfulness. This entails mentally grounding oneself to be aware in the moment. It is helpful to start by consciously taking pleasure in little things that are a routine part of our day. This can be done by tuning in to each of our senses while engaging in seemingly mundane activities, such as enjoying each bite of your favourite breakfast, smelling the coffee, people watching during your lunch hour, enjoying the process of working out or exercising, singing along to your favourite play list, or getting out into nature for a walk.  

2. Get clear on your values and ensure your life reflects these values 

Your values form a significant part of your personal identity and provide signposts as to what gives you meaning and a sense of purpose. Identifying your values will give you a better understanding of who you are. If you are not living a life that aligns with your true values, it is unlikely that any positive life changes or goals achieved will bring you lasting fulfillment. Take some time to get clear on your values and do a regular check-in with yourself, covering all facets of your personal and work life. These questions will help you get clarity in each area of your life:  

• Am I living a life that reflects my values? If not, how can I improve things? 

• What meaningful personal activities can I engage in that reflect my values? 

• What meaningful work goals can I work towards that reflect my values?  

3. Focus on relationships you find fulfilling 

Humans have an innate desire to be close to other people — to connect with them and build relationships. Spending time with loved ones seems obvious when it comes to increasing our happiness. However, due to the busy nature of life, spending quality time with family and friends can be difficult to prioritise. With life’s distractions, it is possible to spend time with loved ones while not really being present. It is important to prioritise spending time primarily with people who you enjoy spending time with, not those you feel obligated to spend time with or who make you feel “less than.” A fulfilling relationship is one based on trust and respect, where each person is valued and where boundaries are set and respected. When you do spend time with others, practice being present and eliminate distractions whenever possible. 

4. Make time for new and enjoyable activities 

Engaging in fun activities or doing something you have never done before are great ways to boost one’s mood along with reducing any tendency to get into a rut. According to research, the anticipation we feel prior to taking part in a fun activity can contribute more to feeling happy than the activity itself. Choose activities or hobbies where you are fully present and enjoy the process and not just the outcome. One way to find the time for fun activities is to take a break from technology. Spending lots of time engaged in digital technology decreases the chance of having deeply connected relationships and increases the chance of mental agitation and stress – and it gets in the way of learning to live in the present. Try scheduling regular technology breaks – starting with a couple of hours once a week and increasing the time – and take note of how you feel.  

People need happiness in their lives for more reasons than just feeling good. Being happy does good things for our brains and bodies. Positive emotions can lower stress hormones, which helps to ease anxiety and depression. Being positive also strengthens our immune systems. It has been found that happier people are more resistant to colds and even experience faster-wound healing. In life, happy people are more productive and creative. Their positive thinking, and being open to new experiences and ideas, gives rise to out-of-the-box thinking and the ability to innovate and solve problems. Happy people are typically more readily social, and they have a higher inclination to help others. This means greater participation in volunteering and joining in with providing community services. Overall, being happy is beneficial for us, the ones we love and our community.  

Over to you for sharing your comments and experiences.